Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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