Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
