I never want to see another naked old woman again.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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