She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
