Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
