Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
