Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
