no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
