Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
there is glitter all over my balls
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