I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
