I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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