How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
