my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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