That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize
