I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
