She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
