he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
