I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
