I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
