he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
