Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
