he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
it hurts more in the daytime
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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