Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
