i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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