All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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