she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
