i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
