My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
