ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
