your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
