it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Its about making memories worth repressing
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
