Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
