their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
