im about as happy as oj after his trial
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
