it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
