Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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