Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
