so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
