dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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