apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
