i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
