i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
