i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
