I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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