Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
