literally had 100 drinks last night.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
