just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
