Little spoons don't ask big questions
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
