so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
