i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
