Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
