Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
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